Writing

I don't know why, but I always hesitate talking about my writing. I don't know of other writers/authors have this problem. Part of it is the absolute fear that all the work is for nothing and the work is complete crap. 

But at the same time it's hard to contain my excitement. Plus there is the need for some validation. Even if it's just on a paragraph of sentence. But that leads to questions. Questions lead to them wanting to read your work and than that rolls back to that absolute fear. 

The last couple of days I feel like I have fallen down the rabbit hole with my writing. I go back and reread a few pages to get back into the mindset and it's like I spiral down into it. But is it really that I have created my characters and world so well or is it that they are in my mind so well and I just haven't transferred then to paper well enough. 

The more I delve into this second story, the more I understand what other authors mean about fear.

It is real. 

This and That

It's been over a year since I have posted anything. 

Stuff happened over the course that year. Finally got to go home to Texas after 7 years. In a way it felt that long and in away it didn't feel it. It was great to see my family and all the things I missed, especially the beach and the food. We only had a week and it wasn't nearly enough. It was a crazy whirlwind trip. And as much as I really would like to go back this year, I HATE to fly. 

I read 55 books last year. Wish it had been more but both jobs have kept me so busy. 

I rejoined Weight Watcher last year and I don't know why I just can't keep up with it. I will do really good for a couple of weeks and lose weight and then any little thing that disturbs my pattern REALLY disturbs it. No little stumble, I may as we'll have fallen off a cliff. 

I have managed to keep off the original 10 pounds I lost but that's just a 1/10 of what I want to loose. I have the worst willpower. Some of my friends are in the midst of their own weight loss quests and they are doing so well and I feel like a failure sometimes. 

Perhaps I just need a different perspective on things. I don't know. My husband says he wants to lose weight but he just won't commit. I have just about cut all sodas from my diet. Only drink it if it's the only thing available. I don't know what to do. 

I've been writing a lot in the last year. I basically finished an entire novel. I have yet to type it out completely but it's all there. I'm working on 2 other ones, one of which is a sequel. I haven't decided when I want to send it to an agent yet. It needs reworked some and has to be bled. And by bled I mean sent to someone who will read it and tell me what parts of it are complete shit and need fixed. It's going to be painful and expensive but most good things are. 

On Twitter I follow many authors and try to take in as much advise as I can. Ultimately, it terrifies me but from everything I've read, that's the norm. 

I guess that's about as up to date it gets. I will strive to be more proactive in updating. 

Nice warm bread!

For the longest time I have been afraid of trying to bake bread from scratch. No box mixes, no bread machine.

My first attempt was a Challah recipe I got from an author I read. It came out so so and I set it aside for a few years.

In Nov. I decided I would break it out again and tweak it with suggestions I got from others. It came out AMAZING. It's a wonderful cinnamon and honey challah that is to die for.

For some reason I got a bug up my ass today about baking more bread. But I wanted something different. I have been searching the internet for months for a wheat bread recipe that looked desirable. They all looked the same.

Sooooo, I strapped on my big girl pants (hahaha, I know, I wear them all the time) and I improvised based on different things I had seen.

AMAZING!!!!

So I am going to share my creation with everyone.

I call it: M & M Wheat Bread (No it doesn't have M&Ms in it. Sorry. :( )

M & M Wheat Bread

Ingredients:

1 packet dry active yeast (2 1/4 tsp)
1/2 cup hot water (tap hot, not boiled)
pinch of sugar
3 cups whole wheat flour
1 cup unbleached bread flour
1 cup sugar
1 tsp cinnamon
1/2 tsp salt
1 cup whole oats (old fashioned oatmeal)
1/2 cup water
1/4 vegetable oil
2 eggs, slightly beaten
2 Tbl Maple syrup
2 Tbl molasses


In a cereal bowl mix 1/2 cup hot water and pinch of sugar and add packet of yeast. Mix and set aside to bloom

In large bowl mix 1 cup of bread flour and 1 cup of whole wheat flour, sugar, salt and cinnamon.

When yeast mixture has bloomed to roughly twice its size, mix with the flour mixture you have prepared. It will be dry. Add the 1/2 cup water, 1/4 cup vegetable oil, eggs, Maple syrup and molasses. Mix well and it will be soupy.

Add 1 cup of oats and slowly begin to incorporate the other 2 cups of whole wheat flour.

If mixing by hand, at some point you may not be able to mix it any further. Use remaining flour that hasn't been incorporated to dust the counter or cutting board and knead in the dusting flour until it is elastic and soft and when kneaded into a ball, it is smooth.

Spray a bowl that is double the size of your dough ball with cooking spray and set the dough inside. Spray the top of the dough too. Cover with plastic wrap or a tea towel and warm draft free place to rise for 1 to 1 1/2 hour, until it has roughly doubled in size.

When the dough has doubled in size, lightly dust your cutting board again and pour out the dough and punch it down and re-form into a ball or loaf, which ever suits you.

On cookie sheet or pizza stone, lightly dust with flour and then sprinkle with oats. Set dough on top of oats and cover again and let rise for 30 minutes.

Preheat to 375 F while the dough is rising.

Bake for 30-35 minutes, until it sounds hollow when you tap the loaf.

Allow to cool before cutting or you will squash the loaf.

If you try this, I hope it works for you and you enjoy it as much as we have.

Small Business Christmas

I have worked for two small businesses in the last seven years. Am currently working for one of those two right now. It's a family owned flower shop that has been in Pittsburgh for over 70 years. The previous one was a flower shop that had been in operation for over 90 years.

 It's gone now.

Due to various reasons he had to close. And it was heart-breaking to know that we worked hard for so long and yet it all had to end.

With the economy the way it is right now and everyone clamoring over each other in big box stores for the greatest deals on the anything and everything they can find, we the little guys in small businesses around the country suffer greatly.

We don't begrudge people trying to find a bargain when times are tough. But remember, times are tough for all of us and are made more so when people forget to help us out by buying locally or from small shops rather than heading to the big stores.

I buy at big box stores too for many things as there aren't always available from small businesses such as  household goods and cleaning supplies. But I do try and buy from local bookstores, specialty food shops and even my yarn when I can afford it.

But I ask that when you do have the money, shop at your local businesses. From your independent booksellers who are usually much more helpful in finding that book you want or need because they are immersed in their love of books, or your local butcher who will do anything you need to fill your orders, to your local florist who will happily make that awesome bouquet for your special someone.

These are your neighbors who make it a point to know everything they can about what they love and want to share with you. And they all need your help.

Make it a point this Christmas to, at some time, buy something from a neighbor.

The New Gena Showalter Series!!!

I have been anticipating this new series by Gena Showalter for some time.

The Last Kiss Goodnight is due out Dec. 26th. Consider it a late Christmas gift to yourself by picking it up when it comes out!

All In Knots

It's been a while. Since the Read-A-Thon (thanks again to those who donated!), I have been neck deep in my knitting.

Have made a couple pairs of fingerless gloves, 2 baby hoodies, a hat for myself, a pair of socks and am working on 2 scarves.

I started a photoblog on Tumblr. Here's the link. Restless Hands and Ceaseless Words

I finally finished the second Patrick Rothfuss books. I loved it and was totally SHOCKED by the last three pages. I can't wait for the final book.

Am currently reading The Night Circus by Erin Morgenstern. It's her first book and so far so good.

Almost time to go.

Have a good one.

HUGE THANKS!!!!

I would like to extend a HUGE Thank You to those who have donated and pledged to donate based on how many hours I read in Eljay's 24 Hour Read-A-Thon. You are very special people!

And those people are:

• Chef Chuck Kerber
• Eleanor Smail
• Elizabeth Cavazos
• Bryan Szafranski
• Cristina Escamilla
• Celia Escamilla